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Kosong

Alhamdulillah. Lagi tiga hari akan genap sebulan aku berada dalam posting baru ni, posting ObsGyn. Dalam term layman, posting sakit puan.

So far, aku dah oncall dua kali. Dua-dua oncall so far ok la. Manageable. Penat itu mesti. Tapi esok aku oncall lagi, kali ni jaga VE room. Dan kalau on call VE room, ko akan kene clerk (baca: tulis-tulis) dari kol 7 pg esok sampai 7 pg lusa non stop, as long as patient datang.

Adeh.

Honestly aku lebih suka amik darah/ set line/ assist OT dari cleking case tak abes abes. Benci la nak tulis banyak banyak.

Aku dapat post call semalam, off hari ni. Agak awkward sebab dalam posting sebelum ni aku off weekend je. Jadi bila off weekdays ni, agak weird dan tak convenient sangat sebab bini aku kerja. Tapi takpe la. Dah orang bagi cuti. Amik je la… hohoho…

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Sejak dua menjak ni aku jadi sangat la tak bersemangat. Rasa berat je badan, dan rasa malas gile. Maybe sebab raya aritu makan banyak Tak tahu la kenapa

Kalau bukan sebab nak kene bayar hutang, aku rase nak amik cuti tanpa gaji sebulan. Untuk rehat. *bajet ko busy dan penting sangat jeee*

Tapi since aku duduk kat rumah je mase aku off tadi, serius rase bosan gila. Mati kutu. Tu baru dapat cuti sehari. Tapi ye la tak pegi mane-mane pon sebab isteri kerja, and duit pon takde har har har… Lagi pon bila nak buat ape-ape, lepas teringat esok nak oncall, aku rasa nak baring je kumpul tenaga hahaha.

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Anyway aritu aku ade cakap kat parent aku, yang aku cuti semalam and hari ini. Cuma tak cakap kat diorang secara detail yang aku akan balik rumah diorang. Selama ni aku selalunya balik rumah mertua aku.

So bila sampai kat rumah around 12 tengah hari tu, tengok tengok parent aku sedang nap.

Ala dengki gilaaaaaa.

Nak nap jugak hari hari. hahaha

Haish *sigh*

Everyday rasa malas. So unmotivated. Tapi stress itu ada.

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Mase last posting, aku terpikir untuk further anaest, kalau ade peluang. Tapi mase aku assist c-sec, dengar MO anaest borak-borak dengan MO aku, tetiba aku rase malas pulak. Malas okay nak exam bagai ni.

Honestly aku nak kerja yang senang. Kerja office hour, kerja banyak cuti. Aku nak jadi cikgu

Bila baca ade senior HO dah jadi MO Medical kat satu hospital ni, my gadd!! Diorang dah la campak campak HO ikut suka ati. Posting pon ikut suka hati. Aku suka medical, tapi aku tak nak jadi MO medical. Hahaha

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Anyway esok aku oncall. Esok jugak aku ade assessment dengan mentor aku. Aku dah la tak buat off tag assessment aritu. Adoi. Tak tahu la cam mane aku nak buat assessment esok nii. Banyak bende aku tak tahu ni.

Key la. doakan semoga dipermudah. Aku study dulu. Daaa

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Reasons

I didn’t expect this week to be so eventful. Well, my big day is coming, but then who would have thought I had to take an exam on the day that I had planned to take a leave??

I planned to start my leave on Friday, but then last week my posting captain informed me that I had to take Neonatal Resuscitation Examination on Thursday, AND Friday. Basically, it was the exams for how to manage a unwell newly born babies.

The exams done maybe like once a months, and if you haven’t passed the exams, you can’t do calls in the newborn ICU ward.

The best part was, I was just off tag after tagging for 7 days, (i.e: working from 7 am to 10 am, with 2 hours of break). So I didn’t have time to study. Today is my first day of me working until 5pm only.

I also did order a portable air-conditioner about 2 weeks ago from The Courts, but that thing haven’t arrived. This morning they called me, saying the wanted to deliver that thing during the lunch. But then they called again informing that they had brought a different model. Damn.

Initially I was feeling happy but then feeling meh. Then I felt angry.

Because I paid for the delivery charges. And then the absurd thing was they asked was there any people at home at 12:30pm. Come on. We all working our ass out so I think very seldom there’s a people in the house. And when I said I will be only at home after 5 pm, they said they can’t send because the model that they brought was a wrong one.

My GODDDD!

1st, they are late. I paid two weeks ago. 2nd, they brought the wrong model. 3rd, they wanted to deliver in their own sweet time.

Come on!! If an HO made a mistake like that, the specialist will scream at us. That’s why so far I felt so tired with Paeds because they said we must always double check everything. Ok takde kaitan.

I paid the charges. I should decide when YOU should send the things, or YOU at least send it when it was within MY convenience. After 5 pm is good, IMO. Everybody is working.

But now it was I who need to fulfil YOUR convenience. And now I thing I was being cheated for paying the services charges. Maybe I should just tell them that I will take the thing in The Courts when it arrived. Easy.

Seriously la. Nowadays services in many places are so bad. I mean, you are selling your service, but your service are suck.

If you are working in government offices, well you should expect things to be bad. Because we, *cough* are paid every months without fail (unless the government collapsed lah) but then you, are working in a private sector. Your pays depend on how many customer you had.

And by the way we the government servant are not giving you bad service just because we can, but because lack of facilities and overcapacity. Well I agree some other government servants do having the tea break too long but then we also had too many customer i.e patients.

Someday I when private sector giving me bad services, I want to make a scene, saying things like,

Where’s your manager?? I want to see your manager. I want to make a complaint. Now!

Anyhow, anyhow,

I just wondering why things doesn’t really goes the way that I want. 

Being me, I always feel that everything happened for a reason.

I just hope that everything that happened will be the best for me.

Or maybe I was just being lazy and couldn’t care less. Hahaha

Post day 4 tagging

Alkisah harini aku dapat off. Lepas tagging 4 hari. Sebenarnye nama aku takde dalam jadual, sebab aku masuk hari Selasa. Tapi setelah tanya-tanya orang, taggers memang akan diberi cuti semasa tagging. Antara hari Jumaat, Sabtu atau Ahad. Tapi aku dah pegi tagging untuk hari Jumaat dan Sabtu.

Kata senior HO lain, kalo aku tak dapat off, aku tak boleh dapat off dah lain lain hari. Jadi nama tak ada dalam jadual, so tak tahu la nak bila aku off nye.

Malam semalam, lepas tanya kapten, baru tahu Ahad aku off.

Tapi, malang sekali Sabtu tu aku balik lambat. Sebab ade pending work. Ceit. Orang Flexi 1 dah cabut dah. Even orang yang tagging last day pon dah balek. So tinggal la orang Flexi 2 tu suka suki je order aku wat itu ini.

Tapi takpe. Sabar itu separuh daripada iman.

Anyway, Ahad aku gunakan untuk berbaring atas katil sahaja. Hehe.

Tapi bila lepas Asar, rase boring. Dan lapar. Eventhough mase brunch aku dah bantai dua biji telur yang dijadikan omelette, dengan 2 large Mc Donald nye left over french fries.

Tetiba teringat dalam peti ais ade minced meat yang dibeli sebulan lepas. Tapi tak sempat nak masak. So aku pon keluarkan daging tu utk dicairkan.

Tengan baring-baring, rasa bosan dan lonely so last last decide untuk makan kat Pelita kat Tesco.

Kat Tesco, dah kenyang, pegi la shopping sikit-sikit.

Sedar sedar  3 jam aku spend masa kt Tesco. My Goddddd!! Bazir masa aku.

Cepat-cepeat balik. Konon nak masak la. Alang2 dah carikan minced meat. Walaupun perut kenyang.

Tapi tu la. Letih. Pastu banyak housework pending. Kain tak jemur lagi. Pinggan tak basuh. Pastu nak buat spaghetti ni nak kene kisar cili kering la, kisar bawang, rebus spaghetti la, adoi ntah pukul berapa siap.

Esok tagging, mesti balik lambat.

Adoi.

Tak bestnye hidup cam ni. Tsk tsk.

So last last aku pon just kisar cili kering letak dalam peti ais. Esok la masak. Kalo rajin. Haha.

Jadi kesimpulannya, penat gile tagging. Baru la sedar mase kat department Surgery tu banyak ngelat dari pegi tagging. Kat department Paeds ni attendance ngn punctuality diambil berat. Ayoooo

End of posting

Alhamdulillah. Albeit with the sudden drop in the number of houseman and also with the newly-implemented system, I managed to complete the Surgical posting.

Honestly, I love going into the operation theater (OT). Not only because I was able to escape from the havoc of the general ward, I also love seeing the operation itself. Well, maybe because it was associated with my interest in sewing bahahahaha. Thank God so far I haven’t assisted in complicated case. The most complicated surgery was during a hernia repair on a foreigner, when the MOs and the registrar was unsure if the thing was the hernial sac because it was thinner than the usual. And ironically, although with the long duration of operation, we were doing the operation with the good mood, making jokes and all. The registrar, after separating the cord structure, when decided to cut the sac, said things like this:

This is the sac, isn’t it? Guys, see this again. *while rubbing the sac* No other cord structure inside, right? *they all nod their head*

OK. I am going to cut it. If anything goes wrong, we all three gonna get ready to be sued. OK? Three of us. Ready??

Thank God it is the sac that we are looking for, and it was empty.

Anyhow, I am not sure if I ever rant in here that eventhough I was already in the Surgical posting for two months, they never sent me to the clinic. So near the end, they sent me to the clinic a lot. I think I have mixed feeling about clinic session. I mean I love to get away from the ward but then I felt so stupid because I don’t even sure how to prescribe medication for BPH. Because literally we are doing clerk works. *but I love doing things that need no thinking hahaha*

Hmmm…

Nevertheless, I also has been making quite a lot of trip to the clinic (for some unfinished business, which also the cons of this department, because sometimes you got pending jobs that you have to find your own time to settle it), till the nurses has recognize me, and we started to make joke which each other.

The department of Surgery was quite haphazard. I mean they got assessment, but then they didn’t really announce the result. But when we all busy filling up the form to apply for the holiday, the specialist cheekily asked if we are confident we passed the exams. Towards the end, one of my colleague need to have a viva because he failed the assessment, and then got extended because he failed the viva.

*seriously the viva is harder than the written test*

Damn! And he was the one who sent the log book the earliest.

Again. Praise be to Allah for everything.

Anyway, anyway…

Now, the holiday ended already. Tomorrow I will be in the new department.

I hope things will goes well.

Oh Allah please ease me.

Malas

This week I had my oncalls on Monday and Fridays. Ironically it was on the start of the weekdays, and on the end of the weekdays.

Monday calls are busy. But then I think it was ok because as there’s a lot of pending op, so I was mostly in the operating theater assisting my MOs. After all, no one was assign for OT. So ward work is not my problem. Haha

On Friday, well, things are so havoc. Hahaha.

The day was starting when a patient suddenly asystole during morning round. His GCS was full, alert and conscious at 7 am. However at 8 am the son said patient’s was not breathing. Oh my, oh my!

He was CPR-ed, intubated, but then, he can’t be saved. The interesting part was two specialists was presence, and  the CPR was done entirely by MO. The HO?? One continue bagging the patient while others put on glove pretending to be on guard to assist in any way needed.

Anyway, I thought that was all. The, another patient doesn’t seem so well. Intubated again. Then transfered to HDU ward

At noon, again, another patient collapsed. I was doing discharges for another patient when suddenly a MO put his things in front of me then rush. A commotion happend in front one of the patient’s bed. Initially patient was diagnosed as bleeding from the stomach, and was well. Albeit there’s an episode of SOB ealier one, with ECG changes. Medical saw the patient, then diagnosed him to had a heart attack. But then when he collapsed, he got another ECG changes. This time, they said he got a second heart attack.

Oh my, oh my!

Imagine. Patient, with bleeding tendency, got a heart attack from thrombus. The usual treatment for heart attack is blood thinner (to thinned out the thrombus) but then by thinning the blood, he will also has risk of bleeding. So, either you treat the thrombus but patient will bleed, or you stop patient from bleed but then the thrombus getting worsening.

Thank God the night was peaceful. I was supposed to be able to get at least 5 hours of sleep but then I think there’s mosquitoes in the HO’s room and the SN keep on bothering me just to inform things. Dang it.

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Anyhow, anyhow, I think maybe I get more insensitive to other people feeling. Well I don’t really shouted at their faces and annoy them but more to like, I just don’t want to care if it was not my problem.

Really.

But then, I am really really scared if things got f*cked when I decided to really don’t care.

Entah la.\Malas dah.

Oh Allah please ease me.

Recent

Praised be to Allah things has never been better. Sedar-sedar dah sebulan lebih dah dalam posting surgical nih.

But then, I was still undecided if I like surgery or not. Not sure why, but maybe because of the way things work.

I had my post-call on Friday, but then when you post-call in Surgery, you need to go back the earliest, 8:30 am because you need to get the urgent radiological appointment. And that if only you manage to get it. If you can’t, well you need to wait to explain to your MO. If your MO are nice, well you are saved. If not, well…. Thank God so far it was either I got the appointment, or the MOs were nice.

Anyhow, I was currently in female ward. Things are quite calm but then they can get super busy. However when I know that the male ward are more busier, I am speechless.

As I have been working for almost a year now. I also have been buying some thing, pursuing my hobbies.

But then I realized, I wasted my money. *gasp*

And for your infomation, I am moving to a rental house. I decided to find a bit sooner because I know I am going to be so busy by the end of the posting.