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It was 10 months since my last post here, and almost 5 months since I have finished my housemanship.

What a phase.

And now, I am a district medical officer with one thing in mind: hoping for easy job.

Being a district MO has it own perks. Sometimes it was so chills, sometimes it was so havoc. Thus, the need for me to pray for the best every single day.

Currently, I am incharge of outpatient department. Literally, a 8 am to 5 pm job in a government institution. l was hoping to get into the Klinik Kesihatan posting but I think albeit the oncall, my job scope currently may resembles a KK MO.

However, for some reason, I felt so empty inside. It could be because I rarely pray at the mosque, reading al Quran and giving alms. I felt so bored sitting inside the clinic attending patients.

Patient nowadays are so demanding, and if I may say so, ‘manja’. Got a cough and runny nose for 2 days, already seek the doctor. Fever started this morning, this afternoon already went to the clinic.

Like have you ever heard of home remedies? Have not you ever tried curing yourself first?

Honestly, I think the cause of all of this is due the cheap registration fees. RM1. RM1 for blood taking, for consultation, and for medications.

But then, I don’t feel like taking in charge of the wards. The ward looks chills all the time, but when it doesn’t, it was scary. And honestly sometime while I was oncall and was not sure what to do with my patient, I just admit them and let my colleague to decides. LOLs.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. Maybe I should be more grateful.

Lately, I’ve been seeing some of my friend has started to quit being a doctor.

I felt like quitting too. But then I am not sure of what am I going to do.

Oh my. Wish I could retire early. And going to travel.

But then again, I don’t think that I am that interested to travel. I just was to lay down at home.

Maybe I am just getting older.



I think it still felt a bit unreal for me, that finally I am in the last posting.

20 months plus ago, I was just reporting myself to the hospital. Now, praise be to Allah, my housemanship almost reaching its end in 3 months God-willing.

Thinking back, my Godddd. What a journey!!

My first posting will always be the one that I’ll remember the most, because literally I started from zero. It was five months after my final exams, I never did an elective before, and my basic knowledge were not that great. I got a good nag from a MO that

Honestly, I think I am here now because of God blessing. Maybe I passed by people’s pity.

The surgeon told me, “don’t worry, we understand that you are a first poster. We’ll let you pass”. Best sentences, ever.

However till this posting, I am still feeling unsure. Well, I am unsure of everything.

Currently my work scope is clerking new patients coming to the emergency, which usually a non-stop event. And because we share the same work place with the MOs and specialist, I don’t get chances to sit, because by sitting, they might think you are lazy. Haha.

So tired.

And thing don’t get better with those fussy, thinks-they-know-better, believe-more-in-what-others-said type of patient.

At 4 am today, an patient came in for severe asthma. Ironically, I know that patient because when I clerked him, he was so anxious to go home, and when I was about to discuss with my MO, the patient absconded. Still remember his exact sentences:

Saya datang ni bukan sebab sesak nafas ke ape. Tapi sebab pagi ni rasa tak selesa. Sejuk kan. So macam nak amik la neb(ulizer), nak top-up. Ala macam nak top up hand phone

And when asked why he doesn’t took his budesonide inhaler, he said he felt OK, and some people said the MDI is not good.


Maybe one might say communication (read: explanation and patient education) is the key here but really, I think I am not really a talker. Maybe my parent was right not allowing their child to be a teacher because I think I don’t really like to explain things over and over again.

Right now, I feel so lazy to work.

There, I said it. haha

I am still unsure of what I want to do. Maybe I should be an intensivist, which only require me to deal with intubated patient. Intubated=not fussy. hahahaha


So it was almost my third month in O&G. The best part was.. I don’t even started to settle my assessment and log book. Oh my. I blame it for my busy-ness in the ward. Well actually it was not really that busy. It’s just that the timing was so inconvenience.

So, maybe next week, I have to really settled it all for once and for all. Cewah!

Anyhow, I am postcall today. But didn’t get my off as I already used my off on Raya Haji.

Yesterday was my first oncall in the 1C, gynae ward. Luckily, I was in charge of Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit aka EPAU. Basically, I was the frontier on any gynae (woman’s problem) referral. That is to say, I will clerk the patient first then discuss with my boss either to admit her to ward, or to discharge her.

The oncall MO yesterday was so nice. She said that I only need to get the history only, as she wanted to examine the patient herself (as to prevent the patient from being examined multiple time).

Thinking back, maybe she didn’t trust me. :-0

Yesterday, I did get emo at a certain staff nurse in 1st class ward. Haha

I don’t get it why some people just choose to be rude, or rather just love to intimidate others.

A patient was planned to trace the old medical notes, and then discharge after that. But the staff nurse informed me that they didn’t find the notes, but the patient insisted to go back. As there were no MO at that time to discuss, the patient herself (who happen to be a Sister Nurse) called the O&G specialist herself. She said that the specialist allow her to discharge then to get appointment one month later.

However when I wanted to do the discharge letter, I found no documentation of any sort. I asked the SN who was present there who was incharge of the patient. She said the SN was eating. Then she asked what was the problem.

I would rather talk to the person in charge. So I went to the pantry to see the SN. I just asked her some question then I wrote something in the notes.

However, suddenly the earlier SN that I spoke to, suddenly made a statement out of nowhere.

“Kenapa doktor kacau SN tu makan?? Doktor tanya sajalah kat saya. Saya kat sini kan?? Kenapa nak pegi sana jugak??”

“Ala makan je kan??”

“Diorang tengah makan, so mane boleh kacau”

“Err I though we are here to work, not to eat??”

“No no no. Here, we take turn when to work and when to eat”

“OK whatever” *malas nak layan*

So I prepared the letter and all. The I asked who will get the appointment. Stupid me for asking. Obviously la I jugak yang kene amik jugak.

After I wrote the date and all in the notes, then I left to my ward.

Suddenly I got the call from the 1st class ward asking how about the appointment, why I didn’t inform her bla bla. Then I said that I already wrote the date and all. And I saw the she was busy. Then she still insisted that she wasn’t busy and I should have informed her before leaving bla bla bla

Then I said, “well sorry, I am stupid”

My God… I don’t get it la these people. You claimed you are not busy but you didn’t noticed that I left.

The first thing they do was to write “Dr X noted” but whatever we wrote there, they didn’t bother to read.

Do you have difficulty in reading or what??

Maybe, some MO keep on being malignant because by being that way, people doing their work properly near them, and the work lesser as people don’t prefer to talk to them.

It is lonely, but it is easy.


Alhamdulillah. Lagi tiga hari akan genap sebulan aku berada dalam posting baru ni, posting ObsGyn. Dalam term layman, posting sakit puan.

So far, aku dah oncall dua kali. Dua-dua oncall so far ok la. Manageable. Penat itu mesti. Tapi esok aku oncall lagi, kali ni jaga VE room. Dan kalau on call VE room, ko akan kene clerk (baca: tulis-tulis) dari kol 7 pg esok sampai 7 pg lusa non stop, as long as patient datang.


Honestly aku lebih suka amik darah/ set line/ assist OT dari cleking case tak abes abes. Benci la nak tulis banyak banyak.

Aku dapat post call semalam, off hari ni. Agak awkward sebab dalam posting sebelum ni aku off weekend je. Jadi bila off weekdays ni, agak weird dan tak convenient sangat sebab bini aku kerja. Tapi takpe la. Dah orang bagi cuti. Amik je la… hohoho…


Sejak dua menjak ni aku jadi sangat la tak bersemangat. Rasa berat je badan, dan rasa malas gile. Maybe sebab raya aritu makan banyak Tak tahu la kenapa

Kalau bukan sebab nak kene bayar hutang, aku rase nak amik cuti tanpa gaji sebulan. Untuk rehat. *bajet ko busy dan penting sangat jeee*

Tapi since aku duduk kat rumah je mase aku off tadi, serius rase bosan gila. Mati kutu. Tu baru dapat cuti sehari. Tapi ye la tak pegi mane-mane pon sebab isteri kerja, and duit pon takde har har har… Lagi pon bila nak buat ape-ape, lepas teringat esok nak oncall, aku rasa nak baring je kumpul tenaga hahaha.


Anyway aritu aku ade cakap kat parent aku, yang aku cuti semalam and hari ini. Cuma tak cakap kat diorang secara detail yang aku akan balik rumah diorang. Selama ni aku selalunya balik rumah mertua aku.

So bila sampai kat rumah around 12 tengah hari tu, tengok tengok parent aku sedang nap.

Ala dengki gilaaaaaa.

Nak nap jugak hari hari. hahaha

Haish *sigh*

Everyday rasa malas. So unmotivated. Tapi stress itu ada.


Mase last posting, aku terpikir untuk further anaest, kalau ade peluang. Tapi mase aku assist c-sec, dengar MO anaest borak-borak dengan MO aku, tetiba aku rase malas pulak. Malas okay nak exam bagai ni.

Honestly aku nak kerja yang senang. Kerja office hour, kerja banyak cuti. Aku nak jadi cikgu

Bila baca ade senior HO dah jadi MO Medical kat satu hospital ni, my gadd!! Diorang dah la campak campak HO ikut suka ati. Posting pon ikut suka hati. Aku suka medical, tapi aku tak nak jadi MO medical. Hahaha


Anyway esok aku oncall. Esok jugak aku ade assessment dengan mentor aku. Aku dah la tak buat off tag assessment aritu. Adoi. Tak tahu la cam mane aku nak buat assessment esok nii. Banyak bende aku tak tahu ni.

Key la. doakan semoga dipermudah. Aku study dulu. Daaa

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I didn’t expect this week to be so eventful. Well, my big day is coming, but then who would have thought I had to take an exam on the day that I had planned to take a leave??

I planned to start my leave on Friday, but then last week my posting captain informed me that I had to take Neonatal Resuscitation Examination on Thursday, AND Friday. Basically, it was the exams for how to manage a unwell newly born babies.

The exams done maybe like once a months, and if you haven’t passed the exams, you can’t do calls in the newborn ICU ward.

The best part was, I was just off tag after tagging for 7 days, (i.e: working from 7 am to 10 am, with 2 hours of break). So I didn’t have time to study. Today is my first day of me working until 5pm only.

I also did order a portable air-conditioner about 2 weeks ago from The Courts, but that thing haven’t arrived. This morning they called me, saying the wanted to deliver that thing during the lunch. But then they called again informing that they had brought a different model. Damn.

Initially I was feeling happy but then feeling meh. Then I felt angry.

Because I paid for the delivery charges. And then the absurd thing was they asked was there any people at home at 12:30pm. Come on. We all working our ass out so I think very seldom there’s a people in the house. And when I said I will be only at home after 5 pm, they said they can’t send because the model that they brought was a wrong one.


1st, they are late. I paid two weeks ago. 2nd, they brought the wrong model. 3rd, they wanted to deliver in their own sweet time.

Come on!! If an HO made a mistake like that, the specialist will scream at us. That’s why so far I felt so tired with Paeds because they said we must always double check everything. Ok takde kaitan.

I paid the charges. I should decide when YOU should send the things, or YOU at least send it when it was within MY convenience. After 5 pm is good, IMO. Everybody is working.

But now it was I who need to fulfil YOUR convenience. And now I thing I was being cheated for paying the services charges. Maybe I should just tell them that I will take the thing in The Courts when it arrived. Easy.

Seriously la. Nowadays services in many places are so bad. I mean, you are selling your service, but your service are suck.

If you are working in government offices, well you should expect things to be bad. Because we, *cough* are paid every months without fail (unless the government collapsed lah) but then you, are working in a private sector. Your pays depend on how many customer you had.

And by the way we the government servant are not giving you bad service just because we can, but because lack of facilities and overcapacity. Well I agree some other government servants do having the tea break too long but then we also had too many customer i.e patients.

Someday I when private sector giving me bad services, I want to make a scene, saying things like,

Where’s your manager?? I want to see your manager. I want to make a complaint. Now!

Anyhow, anyhow,

I just wondering why things doesn’t really goes the way that I want. 

Being me, I always feel that everything happened for a reason.

I just hope that everything that happened will be the best for me.

Or maybe I was just being lazy and couldn’t care less. Hahaha

Post day 4 tagging

Alkisah harini aku dapat off. Lepas tagging 4 hari. Sebenarnye nama aku takde dalam jadual, sebab aku masuk hari Selasa. Tapi setelah tanya-tanya orang, taggers memang akan diberi cuti semasa tagging. Antara hari Jumaat, Sabtu atau Ahad. Tapi aku dah pegi tagging untuk hari Jumaat dan Sabtu.

Kata senior HO lain, kalo aku tak dapat off, aku tak boleh dapat off dah lain lain hari. Jadi nama tak ada dalam jadual, so tak tahu la nak bila aku off nye.

Malam semalam, lepas tanya kapten, baru tahu Ahad aku off.

Tapi, malang sekali Sabtu tu aku balik lambat. Sebab ade pending work. Ceit. Orang Flexi 1 dah cabut dah. Even orang yang tagging last day pon dah balek. So tinggal la orang Flexi 2 tu suka suki je order aku wat itu ini.

Tapi takpe. Sabar itu separuh daripada iman.

Anyway, Ahad aku gunakan untuk berbaring atas katil sahaja. Hehe.

Tapi bila lepas Asar, rase boring. Dan lapar. Eventhough mase brunch aku dah bantai dua biji telur yang dijadikan omelette, dengan 2 large Mc Donald nye left over french fries.

Tetiba teringat dalam peti ais ade minced meat yang dibeli sebulan lepas. Tapi tak sempat nak masak. So aku pon keluarkan daging tu utk dicairkan.

Tengan baring-baring, rasa bosan dan lonely so last last decide untuk makan kat Pelita kat Tesco.

Kat Tesco, dah kenyang, pegi la shopping sikit-sikit.

Sedar sedar  3 jam aku spend masa kt Tesco. My Goddddd!! Bazir masa aku.

Cepat-cepeat balik. Konon nak masak la. Alang2 dah carikan minced meat. Walaupun perut kenyang.

Tapi tu la. Letih. Pastu banyak housework pending. Kain tak jemur lagi. Pinggan tak basuh. Pastu nak buat spaghetti ni nak kene kisar cili kering la, kisar bawang, rebus spaghetti la, adoi ntah pukul berapa siap.

Esok tagging, mesti balik lambat.


Tak bestnye hidup cam ni. Tsk tsk.

So last last aku pon just kisar cili kering letak dalam peti ais. Esok la masak. Kalo rajin. Haha.

Jadi kesimpulannya, penat gile tagging. Baru la sedar mase kat department Surgery tu banyak ngelat dari pegi tagging. Kat department Paeds ni attendance ngn punctuality diambil berat. Ayoooo