“What is your comment on auscultation?”

“Errmm…. Maybe there are accentuation of first heart sound, and there is a pan-systolic murmur…. ”

“So your diagnosis is…..?”

“aaaa…..” *thinking about the heart sound that was aucultated before, and the facts and mechanism of each and every of them, however suddenly all the knowledge from my reading has gone like an autumn leaves blown by the wind*

“What are you doing? You should just say the answer based on your findings.”

*panicked* “mitral regur€$?&£@….!!” *jabberish*

“I don’t understand why you take a very long time to answer. You said there is harsh pan-systolic murmur, with muffled heart sound, so it must be Mitral Regurge. It is like asking you 1 plus 1 equal 2. OK now what are the characteristics of the murmur?”

“aaaa….” *thinking again*

*Pointing to the next student* “Next! You, answer the question”

“aaaa….. (answering something here, but still, the professor is not satisfied because of ‘aaaa’)”

“What happen with you? Why all of you took a long time. You should answer the question like you answer when your name were asked. You know, when I am teaching, usually the top scorer inside my class will answer fluently without a pause. (and more of his preach…)”

So that is how we answer the so call short OSCE question, during the last Thursday.

Truth to be told, I felt so depressed when the professor saying things like that. Macam kami ni worthless gile. I mean macam mana die nak expect kite tahu jawapan-jawapan tu? Ok kalau tahu pon, quite impossible la for me untuk jawab soalan-soalan tu fluent macam air. I don’t just remember fatcs, but I understand them. Because the facts that were understood will be remembered longer.

Lagi teruk bila dah panik takleh jawab soalan first, soalan lain pun hancor la. lagi sedih bila kawan kawan yang ade sekali kat sebelah boleh pulak jawab-jawab soalan tu. Walaupun still tak memenuhi permintaan prof untuk jawab laju macam air, but still die boleh jawab kot.

At that time, empangan air mata ni tetiba je penuh. Asal aku takleh jawab? Dah macam retak menanti belah tapi nasib baik boleh tahan. Kalau tak jadi scene pulak nangis waktu exam.

But anyway, rase geram sangat bila tak boleh jawab.

Selalu terpikir ape yang tak kena? Kenapa diorang boleh jawab, aku tak boleh? Masa jawab seriusly terpikir rase nak give up. Kenangan selama 5 tahun lebih as medical student tetiba terimbas kembali. Bukannya sekali dua terpikir did I choose the right thing tp dah banyak kali dah. *matilaa mase jawab exam boleh berangan pulak*

Hari tu ade prof ajar cardiac cycle. Dia ajar phase phase masa jantung tu berdenyut. Bukan tu je, die siap ajar kalau ade bunyik pelik pelik kat jantung, kat mana bunyi tu berada dalam cardiac cycle tu dan ape mechanism die.

Pastu die ade la cakap kita kene paham ape tu mitral stenosis, ape tu mitral regurge. So nanti takde la bila ade orang cakap gini gini, kita follow bodoh bodoh je tanpa paham. So aku cam setuju sangat la dengan prof ni. sebab aku malas nak hafal hafal ni. Prof tu siap kate exam OSCE ni non-sense sebab finding kat patient tu subjektif, maknenye setiap orang akan jumpe bende yang berlainan. Macam kalau ade swelling, ade orang akan kata swelling tu firm, ade orang kate eh mane ade swelling ni soft.

Tapi, pelamin anganku musnah sebab dunia medik di Mesir tak macam tu. Seriesly kalo ko tak hafal ayat sebijik sebijik dalam buku tu so jangan haraplah nak jadi top scorer. My advice, hafal dulu, kalau ade masa baru faham.

Which, make me thinks that kalau engkorang ade anak, and nak suruh die amik medik, kalau die tak suka menghafal, rentikanlah. Baik suruh die amik engineering atau lain-lain bidang yang tak perlukan hafal pure facts macam physics ke, mathematics ke etc.

Walaubagaimanapun ni semua mungkin alasanaku yang malas je. Ade je top scorer yang tak hafal ayat bulat-bulat.

Prof tu walaupun ayat die pedas tapi die baik ade ajar-ajar dan tolong tolong. Mase die terang terang tu ade la kawan aku tanye balik soalan kat die untuk clarification for certain facts, and the most intriguing part is aku macam taknak amik port lak nak dengar ape yang die explain kat kawan aku tu. Sebab aku rase macam tak berminat nak dengar let alone nak tanya tanya soalan.

But anyway, prof tu baik la jugak. Dalam aku dok ralat jawab ntah ape ape die bagi la aku 8/10. Orang lain dapat 10/10. Dan bile jami takleh jawab die bagi free lecture. Haha.

P/s: patient tu sebenarnye ade mitral stenosis. Tapi sebab panik, aku sebut mitral regurge. Mitral stenosis ade accentuated 1st heart sound, with mid diastoic murmur. Mitral regurge plak ade muffled 1st heart sound, with pan systolic murmur. Aku ade dengar 1st heart sound tu accentuated, tapi timing tu tersalah (systolic/diastolic). Kesian kat kawan kawan aku sebab diorang tahu patient tu ade mitral stenosis tapi sebab tak nak aku nampak sangat bengap so diorang cover cakap mitral regurge jugak kat prof tu. Agak sedih + kelakar bila lepas prof cek sendiri patient tu, kantoi diagnosis kitorang salah. But still, nak cakap kat sini I love my friends so much!! Rase terhutang budi sangat.

]]> http://meorsoleh.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/osce/feed/ 2 meorsoleh http://meorsoleh.wordpress.com/2012/01/15/random-7/ http://meorsoleh.wordpress.com/2012/01/15/random-7/#comments Sat, 14 Jan 2012 22:55:05 +0000 meorsoleh http://meorsoleh.wordpress.com/?p=1228 ]]>

no wonder i like to play online games so much. Damn!

And because of that same reason, I can’t skip any classes. There was this one day when I overslept, I accidentally skipped the morning class. In the afternoon, the doctor ask me that why I didn’t came that morning. Feeling guilty, I spontaneously said that I was not feeling well. So he said, “So your are well now?” Damn I am such a lousy liar. I should tell him the truth because he is so understanding and nice. I guess that is my weakness. It was very difficult for me to get close with anyone unfamiliar. I know it is very difficult to live in this world without connection but I feel so bad when getting to know somebody just because I got a hidden agenda.

Anyhow putting all that apart, today I’ve taking an IV blood sample from a patient. Yeay for me! I know maybe other people has taken a lot of samples already but for me, this achievement give me a great relief. Because of what? Because I knew that after we graduate, we will need to know how to take blood sample from the patient. But if we have never done so, how meh? Now, I can rest assure about my future, even though for a little bit. But there is still room for improvement. Now I need to learn how to take IV sample, from an obese patient. Hoho

“I don’t think I can go out with her tonight.”

“Then don’t.”

“Other people would say, ‘Why not?’”

“Other people might be interested.” – Leonard and Sheldon, the Big Bang Theory

Hahaha… Baru nak melayan the Big Bang Theory.

However, this event still inevitably will lead me to think a bit about the future.
Well, sometimes I am so afraid of the future. I even have a dream about it. But, it is not about the scariness of the future that was bad. But it is because the future is unknown. Aren’t we all afraid of unknown things?

As I said previously in my post, we are currently in Internal Medicine II rounds. And as a week has passed, now I’ve changed for the better from the Rheumatology department to the Critical Care unit, also known as ICU.

During the rounds in the Rheumatology, I may not look so but actually I somehow feeling depressed and stressed. Because I feel so bored. And I can’t stop thinking if did I make a right decision for taking medicine? Because, it seems that I’ve lost my interest. I can’t imagine myself working like when I was in Rheumatology department.

But now, I think my worries has subsided a little. My first day in Critical Unit is so much fun. Although I am tired because the need to stand for a long time, but I think I have gained something beneficial. OMG talking about Critical Care I forgot to read basic life support for tomorrow group discussion

Still, having saying that, the future is not us to see. As a human being, I can’t help wanting to get the most by doing the least. So I hate that I always feel tired so easily. Should I eat more?
Actually I have more things to say but I guess it was too private and as someone has said,

your life would be special when you keep it in the right way, secure it and not exposed everything to everyone. by MZMM

But anyhow, recently I also have been so pessimistic. If I thought to further in Emergency Medicine, my patient would be hopeless. LOL

Like in Modern Family series, there are two types of people in this world, the dreamer, and the realist. Maybe I am trying to be a realist. A sign of aging maybe?

So to conclude today post, I wish my reader *bajet celebriti blogger la kununnye* a Happy New Year and let us all be better either in our daily life or in our hereafter. Ameen.

If you continuously holding a glass of water, you will feel pain and will only be able to hold it for a short time. But if you holding it alternately between your hand, you can hold it much longer. Maybe forever – anonymous

So a week has gone by since I started the Internal Medicine II rounds. The frustration about the previous block examination, well to follow the above quote, I’m going to just let it go until the day when the result came out.

Anyway, FYI this Internal Medicine round consist of 3 months period. So I think we can guess that it is going to be a long, long semester. Which is maybe not.

Well, everyday when I woke up, I can’t help to keep on thinking to go or not to  go to the class. After all, I need to be there at 8 am. It is so cold. Yet, I still managed to go. In my opinion it was not very bad.

First, there are more teaching of clinical skill. Which means, we get to move around rather than just sitting in a room listening to lecture. As you might have known, I have a very short attention span to listening, but when it involves moving or thinking, I can keep on for forever, figuratively. So I think it was not very bad. Except that I still unable to stay awake for one hour full during lecture. lols.

Secondly, we will keep changing the unit/department. So unlike the previous Internal Medicine I rounds, I think it will be seldom of repeat clinical case.

However, all the above reasons still do not do any help about my intention of skipping class. I mean I want to skip class once in a while but it seems so impossible these days. I’m afraid I am going to miss something (this sounds like hypocrite, but just bear with it). On top of that, I’ve been selected as the unit leader. Well luckily eventhough it is my duty to check for Prof in charge, but other members of my unit has done a really good job. So my work is not so hard, so far.

That is all for today post. Maybe I’ll write more later at the end of the year. Ciau~

So tajuk blog ialah pasal exam. Well Alhamdulillah la exam dah habis. Jawab tu boleh la, tapi salah betul tu, wallahualam.  Exam kali ni rase stress sangat sebab gap pendek, lepas tu kene duduk depan sekali. Kalau tak boleh jawab memang haru la.

Ni jadual asal exam, yang dicadangkan oleh student representatives (SR) yang berkaliber dan berdedikasi (klik untuk tumbesaran)

Nampak cantik sangat. Selain sebab colourful (ini Ihsan Abd Wahab buat), gap die cantik-cantik belaka. Cukup la kan untuk  cover 300 pages dalam masak 4-5 hari untuk satu-satu subjek kan? Atau kalau tak cukup, at least boleh la nak fokus kan pemikiran tu. Macam minggu ni bace Forensic and Toxicology. Minggu depan bace Family Medicine.

Tapi itu la. Ku harap kan cerah sampai ke petang, rupanya hujan di tengah hari.

Jabatan Family Medicine (exam yang kat hari kotak warna biru tu) dengan selamba tanpa budi bicara merijek proposal jadual ni. Alasan beliau?? Soalan tak siap lagi, and beliau pon tak nak la tergopoh-gopoh untuk membuat soalan. haaa gitu kan jawapan beliau~

Eh tak baik kutuk Prof nanti ilmu tak berkat. Astaghfirullah.

So last-last jadual kene rombak balik la. Jadi la cam ni. (klik untuk besarkan)

Tu dia. Berderet-deret. Ini bukannye exam matematik, atau pun exam karangan. Ini exam untuk medik. Kene hafal. Gilo ape? Yang bestnye ade sehari je gap. Kotak kuning before kotak pink tu. precious gap.

Tapi nak buat camna dah cakap professor dah final. Pasrah je la.

So alkisahnye aku pon try la pulun bace habis-habisan. Kelas dah habes, aku poya-poya jap pastu mula la mengira jumlah hari yang diperlukan untuk cover semua topik lecture. Fuh berpeluh kot. Tu pon tak tercover. Berbanding exam-exam lepas, memang tak sempat pon nak tolong buatkan soalan-soalan past years. Exam kali ni just save as kat desktop bace je. Dan lain tau antara “buat soalan” dengan “baca soalan”. Tentulah yang terdahulu tu lagi effective.

Nak kata bace buku habis tu, boleh la kira habes. Tapi tak ingat la. Dah bace pon sekali je. Yang bace tu pon scan-scan je tajuk penting. Kira kalau ingat (diulangi, KALAU ingat) dalam exam point die, huraian tu memang goreng la. Tak pun masak lemak cili padi.

Ape-ape pun, exam semalam dan hari sebelum kelmarin, Alhamdulillah rasenye takde yang tak tahu langsung jawapan die. Maybe ade la sikit-sikit salah. Ke banyak. Entah la. MCQ tu memang jawab ikut naluri hati je. Mana yang berkenan itu yang aku pilih. Untuk written tu, harap prof terima la jawapan itu. Cuak sangat. Bile top-top scorer cakap soalan susah (tapi ade yang senyum je hepi), aku rase cuak gile. Kalau diorang yang mengetop tu cakap camtu, aku yang tak beberapa ngetop ini bagaimana ya dong?? Tapi aku sure diorang tu drama je lebih. Nanti result keluar diorang tetap score jugak. Ceit.

Lagi satu, harapan je la bila dulu cakap sem 1 ni nak try improve result. Tapi nan ado. Maybe sebab lebih cenderung untuk buat bende lain dari nak belajar.

Tapi takpe la. Barang yang lepas usah dikenang. Sekarang ni, usaha sudah, tinggal doa dan tawakkal je la. Jadi mintak doa la ye semoga Allah luluskan. Serik weh nak amik exam repeat. Dah la next sem subject die lagi mencabar.

Anyway, sekarang dah masuk second sem untuk 6th year. Dah tak lama nak grad. Perasaan bercampur baul antara suka dan duka. Suka sebab dah nak abes belaja, but in the same time duka sebab nanti dah tak boleh bersenang-lenang dah. Hidup sebagai seorang student dan seorang pekerja sangat berbeza. Selain tu, duka jugak nanti nak berpisah dengan kawan-kawan. Six years worth of friendship weh. Sama sama susah senang, kene tipu dengan orang Arab, gossip-gossip panas dan macam-macam lagi la. PAstu nanti balik Malaysia masing-masing dok kat negeri lain-lain. Haish…

Sebagai penutup, jomla doa ramai-ramai semoga aku dan kawan-kawan aku semuanya lulus exam. Amin.

Tapi memang betul pon. Post kali ini ade kaitan dengan sejarah. Haha…

Arakian dihikayatkan oleh pujangga pengembara di setiap perhetian, alkisah terdapatlah suatu cerita terletaknya di bumi Iskandariah.

Ok penat pulat nak pikir ayat-ayat lama. Exam dah nak dekat so tak nak bazir masa. *ko tulis blog ni tak bazir masa plak? haha*

Anyway, back to the point.

Dulu dalam tahun 2007 kot pernah ade majlis sambutan hari raya dibuat kat Alex ni. Dulu pelajar medik tak ramai. Baru ade satu batch seramai 200 orang. Lepas tu ade la junior 1st batch bawah kitaorang baru datang.  Eh ke diorang tak sampai lagi? Entah la. Kabur-kabur sikit ingatan atuk ni. Dah tua gamaknye. Tapi yang atuk ingat mase tu sambutan raya macam grand la. Macam ade protocol start datang, dengar orang berucap, dengar persembahan sikit, pastu ade la majlis penyampaian hadiah sikit. Bukan macam sekarang ni. Datang untuk makan je. Nak duduk tunggu orang berucap pun rimas sebab orang dah ramai sangat. Duduk rumah lagi best tak payah nak siap awal-awal nak pergi majlis. Datang agak-agak masa orang dah abes berucap lepas isi perut blah. Sungguh kurang ajar.

Mase tu ade la AJK sambutan hari raya tu semangat nak arrange pertandingan-pertandingan untuk memeriahkan majlis tu. Ade pertandingan buat kuih, buat video raya, pertandingan kuiz pengetahuan Islam dan lain lain.

So, aku ade la join pertandingan buat kuih raya. The funny thing is tu ialah first time aku buat kuih raya unassisted and unsupervised. Juga tak pakai penimbang main agak-agak je. The end result, kuih cornflakes yang keras macam batu. Haha..

Tapi isu di bukan pertandingan kuih raya tu. Ade la isu pasal tu juga mase tu tapi takde kaitan dengan aku sebab kuih aku tak best so memang tak layak dapat hadiah. Ade budak laki buat kuih penat-penat sedap-sedap tapi tengok-tengok takde pon hadiah untuk kategori kuih lelaki. Eh tercakap pulak isu kuih raya tu.

Isu sekarang ialah isu video raya.

Ade satu rumah ni buat video memang smart gile. Kreatif. Memang respect la. And diorang menang. Dan aku tertengok video tu baru je tadi. Before ni ade je tengok tapi tetiba hari ni muncul dalam suapan berita dalam facebook.

Best sangat tengok diorang sesama housemate komen. Kenangan-kenangan diorang yang lepas diabadikan dalam bentuk yang sangat smart. Kalau anak cucu tengok memang tak segan.

Aku pon ade jugak join. Haha. Tapi video aku tu memang teruk dan memalukan. Konon nak buat lawak, tapi jenis lawak mengaibkan diri. Adoi la. Segan sangat.

So kisah sebenarnye penganjur suruh buat video ucapan raya. Jadi penat la aku dengan housemate aku fikir cam mana nak buat video dedikasi yang sekreatif mungkin. Tau-tau je la video dedikasi raya ni tunjuk orang cakap-cakap ucap selamat hari raya kan?? Ramai jugak orang yang hantar video, memang diorang buat macam tu la. So bukan rumah aku sorang je yang fikir cam tu.

Tapi sayang seribu kali sayang. Orang yang menang tempat first tu buat “sketsa” raya. Takde pon ucapan raya macam “saya nak ucapkan kepada mak saya…. bla.. bla…”. Ucapan yang ada just “Selamat Hari Raya”. The end.

So tak adil la. Itu bukan video ucapan raya. itu video sketsa raya. Kalau cakap awal-awal video sketsa raya macam-macam boleh buat. Tapi ape boleh buat. Yang terlibat buat video tu pon penganjur. So memang he is the law.

Jadi kadang-kadang tu bukan apa, rase sedih sangat bila tengok video diorang. Eh bukan video diorang tu menyedihkan. Video diorang best. Tapi bile tengok video diorang teringat pasal video aku pastu terfikir kalau la kitaorang tak rigid sangat nak ikut syarat pertandingan. At least ade la something yang boleh dibanggakan. Sekarang ni, video yang kami buat tu telah diprivatekan sebab salah seorang pelakon nak jaga imej die.

For some, it is a memory, but for me, it is a tragedy.

Apa-apa pun aku tulis ni bukan nak dengki atau nak cari nama atau nak kan pampasan. Juga bukan nak mintak agar video tu dibuang. Bukan. Biarkan video tu. Bende yang bagus buat ape nak sorok-sorok kan??

Cuma… tu la… Rase terkilan je la… *amboi macam baru lepas mati anak je* Ok ade la dengki sikit. Haha…

Anyway I wish nothing but the best for them all. Good luck

Anyway, ade anonymous (baca: certain somebody) suruh update blog. Haha. Liat sungguh nak update.

Sebenarnye banyak sebab aku malas nak update blog.

Pada pendapat aku la, sebagai seorang blog reader yang berjaya, blog yang paling aku suka baca, ialah blog yang menceritakan pasal kisah hidup blogger tu. Tak kisahla kalo die tulis panjang berjela pon tapi kalo ia kisah benar (or at least seems real tak takde nak show off atau vain), mesti aku suke bace. Bonus kalau dalam blog tu ade gambar-gambar wanita cantik hiasan untuk mengiringi. Memang best la gua cakap lu.

So dulu aku pon eksited la kan nak tulis blog pasal kisah hidup sendiri kan? Biarlah nampak loser tulis diari online bagi semua orang bace tapi ade aku kisah? Blog aku, so aku punya suka la. Tak suka kalu pigi tekan itu’ X’ dekat atas kanan kalau pakai Windows, kiri kalau Mac.

Tapi tu dulu la. Dulu tak ramai yang tahu aku ade blog. Sekarang ni, ha. Rase-rase cam ramai. *matilah perasan glemer* So sekarang aku kisah. Haha *reversal*

Rase tak sedap la bile bende-bende kita tulis kat blog, tetiba mase jalan-jalan jumpe orang, orang dok tanye-tanye. I mean it is ok la nampak cam caring can tapi for me, unless you are my family, kat mane ko bace bende tu, mintak tolong jangan bawak keluar. Baca, relfleks, lupekan. Ade reasonnye kalau aku tulis kat blog tapi tak cakap kat korang.

Tapi, as every rules have their exception, kalau ko nak borak-borak bende-bende dalam blog ni ngan aku, make sure la ko pon bagitau bende-bende ko. Tak fair la kan ko tahu pasal aku, tapi pasal ko, ko diam seribu.

Eh tetiba post ni jadi post meleter orang pulak. haha.

Tapi kalau fikir-fikir balik, aku pon pernah buat perkara-perkara yang aku tulis ni. haha. Ah lantak la. Kalau dah malas tu banyak la alasan ko ye Meor.

****************************************************************

Alkisahnya sekarang ni study leave. Ade exam pada 19, 20 and 22hb Disember. Dua subjek je. Eh tiga. FAMILY MEDICINE, FORENSIC and TOXICOLOGY. Tapi ade la dalam 60 tajuk lecture nak di cover. Gile. Ikut schedule asal kene habiskan 6 lecture per day untuk habis baca tapi nampaknya manusia hanya merancang tetapi Allah yang menentukan. Nak abeskan 2 lecture pon termengah-mengah.

Sekarang rase cuak sangat bila exam makin dekat. Lagi cuak bila bace satu bab, buat soalan MCQ, ade pulak soalan yang tak tahu. What the eff that I read?

The fun fact is, I’ve finished playing two computer games from the start of the study leave. Oh I am so screwed.

But overall, it is still bearable.

The day has come into the months of November finally. In the middle to be precisely. As usual like the previous years, it was in this same time the temperature will drop to denotes winter has come.

And as I’ve said in my previous posts (if you care to read the extensive archive) I like winter the most.

We have finished the forensic and toxicology block just before the Eid Adha. And I’ve got a surprise visit from my ex-housemate from the days of my preparation in Intec, UiTM. He was studying in Jordan. It was really funny because I’ve always said that I’ll try to visit him in Jordan someday but it seems that I’ve went farther Europe rather than the Middle-East Jordan. LOL. Sorry friend, I just hate Middle-East country airport because they got no public transport from airport to the city. I am actually hate to deal with people (eventhough I’m about to be a doctor WTF) and also hate to be cheated.

So a few days of the holiday is filled with me bringing my friends and his companion to visit the usual tourist spot in Alexandria. The landmark of Alex, which is the Bibliotheca of Alexandria was unfortunately closed. Personally saying, me myself has never getting inside. LOL

Then after he leaved to Cairo to go back to Jordan, I am back with my holiday routine. Which is doing nothing. I do have some small Eid Adha celebration but that’s all (as explained in my previous post).

Regarding the topics, there is nothing new in my life recently. I think I will be having my finals in early december so other than trying to catch up with daily lecture (which I have been doing so half heartedly), I am also enjoying the moment very much.

That’s all for now. Have a Good day.