OSCE

Previously, on OSCE (bace macam permulaan cerita Heroes):

“What is your comment on auscultation?”

“Errmm…. Maybe there are accentuation of first heart sound, and there is a pan-systolic murmur…. ”

“So your diagnosis is…..?”

“aaaa…..” *thinking about the heart sound that was aucultated before, and the facts and mechanism of each and every of them, however suddenly all the knowledge from my reading has gone like an autumn leaves blown by the wind*

“What are you doing? You should just say the answer based on your findings.”

*panicked* “mitral regur€$?&£@….!!” *jabberish*

“I don’t understand why you take a very long time to answer. You said there is harsh pan-systolic murmur, with muffled heart sound, so it must be Mitral Regurge. It is like asking you 1 plus 1 equal 2. OK now what are the characteristics of the murmur?”

“aaaa….” *thinking again*

*Pointing to the next student* “Next! You, answer the question”

“aaaa….. (answering something here, but still, the professor is not satisfied because of ‘aaaa’)”

“What happen with you? Why all of you took a long time. You should answer the question like you answer when your name were asked. You know, when I am teaching, usually the top scorer inside my class will answer fluently without a pause. (and more of his preach…)”

So that is how we answer the so call short OSCE question, during the last Thursday.

Truth to be told, I felt so depressed when the professor saying things like that. Macam kami ni worthless gile. I mean macam mana die nak expect kite tahu jawapan-jawapan tu? Ok kalau tahu pon, quite impossible la for me untuk jawab soalan-soalan tu fluent macam air. I don’t just remember fatcs, but I understand them. Because the facts that were understood will be remembered longer.

Lagi teruk bila dah panik takleh jawab soalan first, soalan lain pun hancor la. lagi sedih bila kawan kawan yang ade sekali kat sebelah boleh pulak jawab-jawab soalan tu. Walaupun still tak memenuhi permintaan prof untuk jawab laju macam air, but still die boleh jawab kot.

At that time, empangan air mata ni tetiba je penuh. Asal aku takleh jawab? Dah macam retak menanti belah tapi nasib baik boleh tahan. Kalau tak jadi scene pulak nangis waktu exam.

But anyway, rase geram sangat bila tak boleh jawab.

Selalu terpikir ape yang tak kena? Kenapa diorang boleh jawab, aku tak boleh? Masa jawab seriusly terpikir rase nak give up. Kenangan selama 5 tahun lebih as medical student tetiba terimbas kembali. Bukannya sekali dua terpikir did I choose the right thing tp dah banyak kali dah. *matilaa mase jawab exam boleh berangan pulak*

Hari tu ade prof ajar cardiac cycle. Dia ajar phase phase masa jantung tu berdenyut. Bukan tu je, die siap ajar kalau ade bunyik pelik pelik kat jantung, kat mana bunyi tu berada dalam cardiac cycle tu dan ape mechanism die.

Pastu die ade la cakap kita kene paham ape tu mitral stenosis, ape tu mitral regurge. So nanti takde la bila ade orang cakap gini gini, kita follow bodoh bodoh je tanpa paham. So aku cam setuju sangat la dengan prof ni. sebab aku malas nak hafal hafal ni. Prof tu siap kate exam OSCE ni non-sense sebab finding kat patient tu subjektif, maknenye setiap orang akan jumpe bende yang berlainan. Macam kalau ade swelling, ade orang akan kata swelling tu firm, ade orang kate eh mane ade swelling ni soft.

Tapi, pelamin anganku musnah sebab dunia medik di Mesir tak macam tu. Seriesly kalo ko tak hafal ayat sebijik sebijik dalam buku tu so jangan haraplah nak jadi top scorer. My advice, hafal dulu, kalau ade masa baru faham.

Which, make me thinks that kalau engkorang ade anak, and nak suruh die amik medik, kalau die tak suka menghafal, rentikanlah. Baik suruh die amik engineering atau lain-lain bidang yang tak perlukan hafal pure facts macam physics ke, mathematics ke etc.

Walaubagaimanapun ni semua mungkin alasanaku yang malas je. Ade je top scorer yang tak hafal ayat bulat-bulat.

Prof tu walaupun ayat die pedas tapi die baik ade ajar-ajar dan tolong tolong. Mase die terang terang tu ade la kawan aku tanye balik soalan kat die untuk clarification for certain facts, and the most intriguing part is aku macam taknak amik port lak nak dengar ape yang die explain kat kawan aku tu. Sebab aku rase macam tak berminat nak dengar let alone nak tanya tanya soalan.

But anyway, prof tu baik la jugak. Dalam aku dok ralat jawab ntah ape ape die bagi la aku 8/10. Orang lain dapat 10/10. Dan bile jami takleh jawab die bagi free lecture. Haha.

P/s: patient tu sebenarnye ade mitral stenosis. Tapi sebab panik, aku sebut mitral regurge. Mitral stenosis ade accentuated 1st heart sound, with mid diastoic murmur. Mitral regurge plak ade muffled 1st heart sound, with pan systolic murmur. Aku ade dengar 1st heart sound tu accentuated, tapi timing tu tersalah (systolic/diastolic). Kesian kat kawan kawan aku sebab diorang tahu patient tu ade mitral stenosis tapi sebab tak nak aku nampak sangat bengap so diorang cover cakap mitral regurge jugak kat prof tu. Agak sedih + kelakar bila lepas prof cek sendiri patient tu, kantoi diagnosis kitorang salah. But still, nak cakap kat sini I love my friends so much!! Rase terhutang budi sangat.

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